1. |
clothes that we wore
04:50
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I was told I'd change so I grew my hair long
Let the dyed bits fade
And return to the brown I forgot
I was warned you'd stay in my memory
So when the new came
I wasn't surprised you didn't leave
Spent my money, spent my experience
Ain't it funny, guess they don't buy fearlessness
I don't know much more than I did in the fall
Looking back into my rearview
I was unfair and I was unkind to you
But you were unkind to that girl before
I guess nothing much changes but the clothes that we wore
Clothes that we wore
And the TV screen spits life at you fast
When you were younger you didn't care,
But now you're 19 you can't relax
And I miss my friends, nights in dented up cars
And I'm gonna move out soon
But I don't want my mother too far
Oh cuz I spent my money, spent my experience
Ain't it funny, I'll never know fearlessness
But I know I can fake it better than not at all
Looking back into my rearview
I was unfair and I'm sorry I hated you
You were just worried about being a bore
Guess nothing much changes but the clothes that we wore
Nothing much changes but the clothes that we wore
Nothing much changes but the clothes that we wore
Nothing much changes but the clothes that wore
Nothing much changes, nothing much changes
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2. |
story
04:12
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Why do I try?
I had a good time
"No, I don't mind
I'll get a taxi"
I'd put my life
In your hands anytime
In my own timeline
I'd trust you with me
It's not that easy
It's never easy
But in my story
You complete me
You don't tell me to leave
Don't ask me to stay
And I don't say a thing
You don't ask anyway
I'd put my life
In your hands anytime
So just go outside
I'll be where you left me
It's not that easy
It's never easy
But in my story
You complete me
So I'll be easy
Let you defeat me
So I won't end up as
A story that you tell at your parties
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3. |
shape of a man
04:31
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It's getting warm, could you turn on the fan?
Don't touch the lights, fading shape of a man
I want you hidden
Yeah, I want you gone
But don't keep your flesh too far from my arms
I'm feeling vicious, but you stay subdued
Sealed inside my lips is my problem with you
I might let it out if you let out yours
But you play pretend and start kissing me more
And eyes are always involved
All the lies inscribed in the walls
I've been down this path
I've seen these trees before
And I'm sure as hell making a circular course
But the feeling of spinning's familiar to me
And I feel so sick but I'm used to the green
So I'll keep you close
Cuz you know the way
But you don't know that I know it's the third time today
And I'd tell you to stop
But then where would I be
I don't think you care that you're muddling me
And eyes are always involved
All the lies inscribed in the walls
It feels right to ignore your call
So let the floodgates open only
If the town's been warned
Do I make you anxious
I'm just doing what I'm told
You are a friend
Spare me the end
Ohh
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4. |
acupuncture
03:43
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Left a note on my door
"I don't owe you shit anymore"
I've been wondering when I said that you ever did
Never meant to hold on
Like a sticker on my back
You put it there to mess around, it's not funny anymore
And I'm not a baby I don't
Cry over needles in
My temples and my hands
But if you press hard
Enough I could
Take to your command
Cuz I've acclimated to how thick your words feel in my throat
My mother says that I'm paling, look me over and tell me i don't
Feel warm to you, check over my frame
"You're doing fine, I'm the one wasting away"
But I've acclimated so I'll carry you all the way home
I know you don't mean half of the things you say to me
Never thought the voodoo doll would be your devotee
And I'm not a baby I won't whine
If you can't come by, won't wait for you
It's one thing to let the blood flow
Another altogether to find the truth
But I've acclimated to how thick your words feel in my throat
My mother says that I'm paling, look me over and tell me i don't
Feel warm to you, check over my frame
"You're doing fine, I'm the one wasting away"
But I've acclimated so I'll carry you all the way home
Why do I always choose hell over someplace new
Tear me down, stitch me up, don't I love this sadist stuff
Why do I always choose hell over someplace new
Tear me down, stitch me up, needles never do enough
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5. |
cannibal
03:41
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Oh, I know
Every single way you say you can swallow me whole
But I can't go
When both my hands are half chewed up and spit back in your bowl
Cause all I wanted to do is touch your skin
But that would mean you'd have to let me in
So while I feel your teeth sink in my flesh
I remember once you said you loved me best
Where's my phone
I see it manifest into a lump inside your throat
So I'll watch my tone
If you would come and hold me till I'm just your sack of bones
Cause all I wanted to do is touch your skin
But that would mean you'd have to let me in
So while I feel your teeth sink in my flesh
I remember once you said you loved me best
And I recall the day I took you home
Complimented my oven and my stove
You picked me up, said my body's light as air
I guess it just felt better you were there
Love is blind
I tell you I'm a cannibal and you say you don't mind
So take your time
I'll be sitting on your couch till you're ready to dine
Oh, I'll be sitting on your couch till you're ready to die
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6. |
iris
04:41
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My friend Iris, she lives in a van
Saves her money to spend it when she can
On food or gas or an album to last her her next trip
My friend Iris, is doing alright
Both her parents approve of her life
Of riding around till she's tired and parking by beach signs
So I'll ride around with her till the Volkswagen dies
My friend Iris believes in a God
And if she prays right, he'll give her what she wants
But I've tried kneeling and I haven't heard anything back
Iris found Him driving through Santa Cruz
Silly me thought I found him through you
But she got a record deal and all I got was bad news
Iris is singing 'Good Vibrations' and I'm stuck here singing the blues
Ooo, I quit my job I moved back home
Ooo, tryna find religious repose but
Ooo, all I got was fear of missing out
Guess rules don't apply when you feel as alive as Iris
Oooh Iris
I wanna live like my friend Iris
I wanna live like my friend Iris
I wanna live like my friend Iris
I wanna live like my friend Iris
Ooo, I quit my job I moved back home
Ooo, tryna find religious repose but
Ooo, all I got was fear of missing out
Guess rules oh don't apply when you feel as alive
Don't apply when you feel as alive
Don't apply when you feel as alive as Iris
Oh Iris. Yeayea yeah
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7. |
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Walking down an avenue somewhere downtown
Trying to find a new way like an alley or a freshly paved road
One that's been closed for a while
Just to maybe see a new face
Nose has been running and the cold doesn't help
It could be the stress or the way that you brushed me off
Again, you promised me that you would call around 10
So cue me trying to find meaning in the cracks in my walls
Searching for the right person to tell me I'm wrong
Found myself desperately washing my hands
Cause sometimes we're scared of things we don't understand
Cue me trying to get off of the train that keeps speeding on
I know I ran that red light but I can't seem to care
Honestly, I hope that this ticket will lead me somewhere
Bored of feeling depressed over everyday occurrences
I'm sick of being sad that I'm scheduled too much
I've been through one heartbreak, why do I hope it's not the last one
I wanna be terrified about UFO sightings on my street
So cue me trying to find meaning in the cracks in my walls
Searching for the right person to tell me I'm wrong
Found myself desperately washing my hands
Cause sometimes we're scared of things we don't understand
Cue me trying to get off of the train that keeps speeding on
So cue me trying to find emergency brakes in the walls
Cause I need someone to tell me the things I've done wrong
And I'm hoping that this is part of a plan
Cause I'm getting tired of being human
Cue me trying to get off of the train that keeps speeding on
That keeps speeding, speeding on
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8. |
ghost
03:00
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I thought I was safe from you
Checked twice under my bed
Weeks sleeping in my living room
To avoid waking the dead
Invested in a new nightlight
Just like when I was a kid
So when I see a shape around midnight,
It glows through where my brain thought you had been
And I've seen my shrink; she thinks I've lost it
How could I be haunted by the conscious
Smile through my teeth
Stopped bringing up my mirror's cracked
Pour salt around my house
Accept the ghost is back
I'm dreaming of the time we danced
In the middle of the road
When your car broke down in Michigan
And we didn't know or care how we'd get home
I'm staring at the ceiling now
It's almost 4 am
My muscles frozen to the ground
And I swear to God it's you that has me pinned
And I've seen my shrink; she thinks I've lost it
How could I be haunted by the conscious
Smile through my teeth
Stopped bringing up my mirror's cracked
Pour salt around my house like a goddamn maniac
And I'll still check under my bed
Knowing full well you'll be back
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9. |
drunk in your kitchen
02:38
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My lips are numb
And my hair is a mess
I spilled your dad's rum
All over my dress
You said you didn't mind
That it was from a while ago
Put on a song
That makes me feel like a child
The record's on
But it's been skipping for a while
And my hands are sloppily tracing your spine
I don't wanna go to bed just yet
Though I'm usually asleep by ten
Gonna say some things I regret
But I'll deal with that in the morning
Never understood the plan
Till I felt your thumb move in my hand
But I'm drunk in your kitchen
Pray to God you were listening
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10. |
ampersand
04:43
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If this were a movie, I'd just go on a walk
In real life, I wanna tell you to fuck off
If I were an actor, I could probably fake it
But for now, I'll just lay here and feel myself hate it
You always get your way
See how long I'll stay
Are we just nerve endings touching hands
With you riding shotgun and me making plans
Oh
I'm tired of asking you to turn off the hall light
As if that small action makes everything alright
Always think we'll be fine once you fall asleep
Your breath on my neck, at least we're not arguing
You always get your way at the end of the day
Are we just chemicals touching hands
Drove straight into traffic, but it's part of your plan
Oh, and I wish I could tell you I'm sorry again
But it just comes off as conceited
And I wish I could tell you I wanna stay friends
But we both know I would not mean it
And I'll never touch the brakes
Closed eyes for your sake
But I'll sew my fingertips in your hand
I'll leave them there as an ampersand
It'll leave a scar, but that's part of the plan
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11. |
jackson pollock
03:31
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I swear I felt hope slump out of your room
And I'm halfway convinced that you felt her leave too
And I painted you on my chest
I saw Jackson Pollock instead of a mess and
Leaves change, maybe I should change too
On my way home I stepped on one, I heard it crack, and wished it was you
There's nothing like laying in sheets made of silence
I'll bury my face in you to keep in the violence
Imagine you crying over my dead body
I think I'll stay longer cuz I know you'll be sorry and
Leaves fall like I fell for you
And leave the trees naked but naked's too good to be true
I wish I was brave
I would say it to your face
There's a fly in your paint and you're put on display
No, I won't draw attention though everyone can see
I'll just keep you a secret just how you keep me
Till I can't, and I leave
But you wrote me a song
(Wait no, that was me)
I wasted lines fabricating personality
Somebody said that "you're not what you do"
But when you're doing nothing, you got nobody to lose
And I wish I was brave
I would say it to your face
There's a fly in your paint and you're put on display
No, I won't draw attention though everyone can see
I'll keep you a secret just how you keep me
And I don't think it ever gets better
Just gradually less surprising
And the results are all in from the art critics
So why am I still staring at your painting analyzing
Oh no no
And I wish I was brave
I would say it to your face
There's a fly in your paint and you're put on display
No, I won't draw attention though everyone can see
I'll just frame you in my bedroom and I'll keep you just for me
Until I can't
Until I can't
Until I can't
Until I can't
And I leave
Ooomm
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12. |
reprise
00:50
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I don't think I'm hungry anymore
Knife in fist, what's mine was always yours
Don't believe in grace, won't say amen
Just eat the heart to throw it up again
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Daphne Eckman Annapolis, Maryland
Daphne Eckman is a lightning rod of emotion. She is an indie rock/indie folk singer-songwriter creating a space for catharsis.
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